TRIPS TO PLYMOUTH...
Hi,
On Tuesday, I took a trip to Saltash to see Rhi’s family for the first time in over a year. To be honest, I was absolutely terrified and I spent all morning freaking out because I knew that being in a place that I associated so strongly with her would bring back so many memories, both good and bad.
After sitting and talking to her mum and sister for a few hours, I decided to take my boyfriend to a few of the places that Rhi used to take me, ‘her favourite places that would be our favourite places’ she said. I've wanted to visit these and reminisce about her for a few years now but I always thought it would be too painful and so avoided Plymouth like the plague. After a while of convincing from Jamie, I figured that I really couldn't avoid these things forever and so we did it (and he was right, which I'm very reluctant to telling him).
Firstly we went to Churchtown, a nature reserve about 10 minutes away from her house. Churchtown will always be one of the most painful places I associate with Rhi. We spent so much time here and this was the place that she first told me she didn't think she would get better. The views are beautiful and we decided that one day we wanted to live in the house looking out on it all. We had a bench that we went to a few times when she was scared about the future, or I was anxious about life in general and I was so desperate to find it and sit and update her on my life for a while. After walking in circles for about half an hour, I admitted defeat and realised that I wasn't going to find this bench. I'm convinced she knew I'd never be able to find it again and so sent me on this hunt purely to keep me busy.
Next, we went to Plymouth town centre where there's a huge sundial outside with a water fountain incorporated in it. We used to sit here sometimes after getting a Starbucks or a Nando's and one day Rhi pulled two pennies out of her purse and told me we had a wish each. I've never wished so hard for her to get better in my life.
On the walk to the final place, is a statue of an anchor. Rhi once told me that they had a penis statue in Plymouth and I believed her. It was only when we walked past it that I realised that this statue was in fact nothing like a penis. She found it absolutely hilarious and never let me live it down.
Finally is Plymouth Hoe. Smeaton's Tower is a lighthouse that we used to sit at the bottom of and have picnics (normally of chicken nuggets and mcflurries tbh.) One day she decided that climbing this tower would be a good idea because we could get cute selfies at the top. Halfway up, the winding staircase turned into a wooden ladder and I have never been so scared in my life. To cut a long story short, the selfies weren't that cute and she proceeded to laugh at me for weeks about how I cried climbing up the ladder....
As much as I was dreading taking a trip down memory lane, it was so helpful to just think about her and talk about her without feeling sad as I did so - something I probably should've done two years ago. Almost three years on I still miss my bestfriend as much as I did the day she left, but it's now so much easier to deal with. I know she would be insanely proud of all of us and I can take a lot of comfort in knowing that she chose to spend some of her final days with me.
Thanks for reading, and I hope this wasn't too rambly or boring. I just wanted to get my feelings out in a way that I could look back on in a few months, or even years, time.
Em x
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| How cute are these goats we saw on the way. I want one SO bad! |
Next, we went to Plymouth town centre where there's a huge sundial outside with a water fountain incorporated in it. We used to sit here sometimes after getting a Starbucks or a Nando's and one day Rhi pulled two pennies out of her purse and told me we had a wish each. I've never wished so hard for her to get better in my life.
On the walk to the final place, is a statue of an anchor. Rhi once told me that they had a penis statue in Plymouth and I believed her. It was only when we walked past it that I realised that this statue was in fact nothing like a penis. She found it absolutely hilarious and never let me live it down.
Finally is Plymouth Hoe. Smeaton's Tower is a lighthouse that we used to sit at the bottom of and have picnics (normally of chicken nuggets and mcflurries tbh.) One day she decided that climbing this tower would be a good idea because we could get cute selfies at the top. Halfway up, the winding staircase turned into a wooden ladder and I have never been so scared in my life. To cut a long story short, the selfies weren't that cute and she proceeded to laugh at me for weeks about how I cried climbing up the ladder....
As much as I was dreading taking a trip down memory lane, it was so helpful to just think about her and talk about her without feeling sad as I did so - something I probably should've done two years ago. Almost three years on I still miss my bestfriend as much as I did the day she left, but it's now so much easier to deal with. I know she would be insanely proud of all of us and I can take a lot of comfort in knowing that she chose to spend some of her final days with me.
Thanks for reading, and I hope this wasn't too rambly or boring. I just wanted to get my feelings out in a way that I could look back on in a few months, or even years, time.
Em x
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